Aldanish
(Razocharovaniye)
Besh yillik yonishim bir yil uchunmi?
Erkalab o‘tguvchi bir yel uchunmi?
Ko‘zimga ko‘ringan sarobmi edi?
Men shunga aldanib tog‘larmi oshdim?
Sevgimning bog‘chasi xarobmi edi?
Shu bog‘cha ichida yo‘lmi adashdim?
Ko‘zimni o‘ragan kiprikmi edi
Yoki ko‘k tusida pardami edi?
Ko‘ngil shu choqqacha tirikmi edi,
Jonim ko‘klardami, tandami edi?
Qo‘limni tegizdim…. Odam edi-ku!
Ko‘zimda o‘ynagan bir nur edi-ku!
Sezgim-da sog‘, tetik, bardam edi-ku,
Bo‘ynimga qo‘l solgan bir hur edi-ku!
Nega men sezmadim? O‘t emasmidi?
Shu o‘t ichidagi men emasmidim?
Ka’bamga osilgan but emasmidi?
Butni «tangri» degan men emasmidim?
Men uni xayoliy, totli bir sevish,
Ilohiy bir muhabbat, ishq bilan sevdim.
Besh yil!.. Shuning uchun besh yil anglayish,
Yonish, kuyishlarim… oh, endi bildim.
Oh, endi bildimkim, barchasi xayol,
Barchasi bir totli, rohat tush ekan!
Ket, yo‘qol ko‘zimdan, haqiqat, yo‘qol,
Bag‘rimga botmoqda og‘uli tikan!
Chindan-da men bukun yolg‘izmi qoldim?
Chindan-da u o‘tli sevgi bitdimi?
Chindan-da turmushdan og‘izmi oldim?
Chindan-da umidim butkul ketdimi?
Chindan-da ko‘nglimda sevgi o‘tlari
Cho‘g‘siz o‘chib qolgan shamdek o‘chdimi?
Chindan-da ka’bamning sanam, butlari
Kul-parcha bo‘ldimi, butkul ko‘chdimi?
Chindan-da men bukun sevmasmi bo‘ldim?
Chindan-da muhabbat o‘timi so‘ndi?
Chindan-da men bukun tikanmi yuldim?
Ko‘nglim bu aldanishga, oh, qanday ko‘ndi?
Sevgimning yashashi bir yilmi edi?
«G‘uv» etib o‘tguvchi bir yelmi edi?
1922-yil
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